January 23, 2011

Chicken and Cheese

The French dude whom I had a little romantic sexual Internet rendezvous with a couple of months ago is here for ten days. I met him IRL this afternoon, today. He's a lot more fit than I thought and I was a lot more bloated than he thought. Was not feeling sexy or good looking at all. He's single, unattached, does not live here, is good looking and successful, and I've already seen his dick, he's perfect candidate for a week long rendezvous, 'cept for the fact that I'm bleeding to death, heavy cramps and all. Oh life, you never cease to amaze me with your perfect abilities for cockblocking.

Also for the fact that I feel as though I am not ready to be with someone intimately. This dawned on me only a week or so ago, and I have been pondering since I read about the concept in an autobiography that I am currently reading. Although at the same time I crave physical contact with someone. I crave satisfaction and reactions and contact and connections.

On the other hand, I might be sort of infatuated with a friend of mine. He's my buddy and yet I've been having indecent thoughts of him while gazing at his lovely, deep warm eyes and sculpted biceps. We had the perfect moment set up last night and yet neither one of us acted on it. I feel as though each of us is waiting for the OK, Come Hither command from the other one, but so far no one makes a move. Maybe its all in my head and I'm getting my cables crossed. Either way its nice spending time with him and all of his weirdness (because he is an oddball, although I feel as if lately all I date are Oddballs).

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