March 22, 2009

I keep saying I want a tattoo (have the design ready and everything), but I never make any valid move towards getting it. Maybe I don´t want it all that bad.

I'm kind of seeing this guy, I didn´t realize it until today, but yes we have been on a couple of dates. Dates that I didn´t even realize were dates until he mentioned it in passing. Then it dawned on my poor oblivious head that yes, he does in fact have the same feelings that I have for him. This makes me giddy. A bit hesitant as well since I don´t really want anything serious right now. But oh, the joy of the first couple of dates, the flirting, body language, the innocent accidental meeting of fingers on skin, th electric jolts, the swarm of butterflies in your stomach. The aching, beautiful anticipation of seeing the person and memorizing a knuckle, a slender finger, the soft hairs dotting his forearm, his golden skin color.

I downloaded some new music and new music is very much like the first couple of dates. Excitement to hear the new melodies, the new voices and lyrics and songs. Memorize the words and find meaning to their sung odes.

My cousin gets in from the US this afternoon. I hope my high fades away a bit so that I don´t become The Stoner Cousin. The family already has an Oops I Got Knocked Up At 17 cousin, an I Am A Recovering Heroin Addict, the last thing they need is a J the Stoner Cousin or J the deadbeat hostel working pothead cousin.

My mom is a walking talking Mal Trip. Definition of Mal Trip: someone who harshes your fucking flow, takes away the happy feelings, brings you back to reality, makes you aware of something you didn´t really want to be aware of, puts you in an awkward situation, etc. I hope this trip to pick up my cousin doesn´t become 45 straight minutes of Mal Trip with my mom.

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