How many things I can blame on the full moon: lunacy, tender breasts, emotional awkwardness, over dramatization, forgetfulness, anger, lust, insanity, mood swings and many which have yet to be tested. Gives me an excuse to act all crazy at least a couple of times a month. A time to vent.

My family has always been a band of lunatics and took me some time to develop my own lunar tendencies which I am learning to embrace. Sounds very Mother Earth type scenario, but we are creatures that feel and we should learn to deal with that. I don't know if everyone gets sensory overload, but maybe that is what sadness is: a sudden sensory overload that we don't know how to process and which if not handled carefully can lead to depression.

I suffered from SAD while studying abroad in a colder climate. I had never suffered from depression before that, but was able to piece together my diagnosis without any help from doctors. I gained wait, slept constantly, missed classes, was overly sentimental. The minute Spring burst in, the cloud of sadness that had been weighing me down was lifted suddenly.

This is how unhealthy relationships start; its a push and pull of who can be more manipulative, who can get more, who gets or has the upper hand, control. I should have said no. I should have stood my ground and fought the on coming darkness by myself. But I'm a coward, an easy to please beggar, I have this insistent desire to please like a waggy tailed dog, so I texted him and he's coming back after he left not an hour before.

I blamed it on the moon which is not much better than blaming it on the rain. I still feel like crying. What an emotional mess I'm in.

I do research on the net regarding my personality type (ISFJ), agreeing on most of what they have to say. Am I vain for always trying to figure myself out more and more? I have always been curious as to why I do certain things, but to have it spelled out in such a detailed fashion is quite interesting.