So yeah, happy 4th of July, even though my celebration clearly did not have enough booze and drunken insanities. Well, I was high the entire time, but not boozed up enough. Sober Sunday for once. I did eat a shameful amount of chorizos and hamburgers the size of my head and bbq chicken and PORK AND BEANSSSSSS and brownies and pound cake. Enough sodas to start a little cellulite colony on my thighs. It was all delicious and I had a bad case of the munchies, so I attacked everything without shame. Fantastic Mr. Fox style.

I still think about the Aussie, which means that after a million hours of writing, listening to entire albums of sad fucking music and consistent fucking my pain away, the Aussie still haunts me. A little bit pathetic as the dude wasn't even in my IRL for more than a week and a half, how was he able to posses my brain so quickly? I call voodoo. Hexing my vagina. Was that love? Love is kind, love is bla bla bla, love is a big salami. My roommate says that we are here to fuck. Her words, not mine, though I might start subscribing to her RSS (oh, Church of The Here To Fuck). It wasn't his big salami. That was just a perk. It was the chemistry. The intense moments, the constant desire. If someone could bottle that and sell it, people would go wild. Maybe its the smell of lust, lusting, lust and love and love and lust and maybe it is one and the same.

The booty call has strike number 2 on his record right now. I think he feels it. He's probably going to call it off before I do. He'll call me all, look, this isn't working, I'm going to go pick up my guitar and markers tonight, k? And I'd be like sure dude, but can I have my $20 back first? He's such a shameless little turd. He's very charming and can be very slippery that way. He'd be a great politician with his silver tongue. The reason I don't take him seriously ever, is because he's flaky and unreliable. His words are worth half their value. I didn't even get upset with him today. I couldn't muster the energy and a certain part of me felt relieved because bringing him to a bbq with all of my closest friends is a big step, it is a test. I wasn't ready for this, but my friend invited him and I wasn't going to impede him if he did want to attend (which he said he did).

We met briefly on Friday night and he mentioned that he had told his ex that he was dating someone. I hid my surprise as I wouldn't call our hook ups precisely dating, but it is a bit relationship-y. Watching movies and OH GOD I MUST STOP THIS. Jesus H. Christ, I cannot fall into a relationship with this guy. He's super connected but he could also be super bad news. Alarm bells ringing but the other side of me is all, what's the worse that could happen?