I'm having feelings and shit for a guy friend of mine. Yeah. Tricky fucking territory and he feels it as well. We were both kind of thrust into this situation and now we're both trying to back out without hurting each other's feelings. We're both not ready for this, completely unprepared. But somehow it also feels like we've been dodging it for awhile. Maybe all guy friends are just waiting for that moment to stick it to you.

I was chatting with him on Facebook and I started heating up, my face was on fire, a wave of nausea hit me and I couldn't tell if it was love or if it was food poisoning. 'I feel nauseated' I wrote and two minutes later he calls me. 'I decided to make it more awkward', he's really fucking clever, almost too much. But it would be much like falling, having no real clue where something is leading but being brave enough to take that step or hiding in the shadows, always afraid to make a commitment, to take that step.

I hang up the phone and walk into the living room where my roommate is working on her laptop. She looks up at me, says she puked. The cheese or the tortellini was expired. Shit wasn't right and we both got food poisoning.

It's not love.