Dude, fucking hire me already! I am more than qualified, I will work my ass down to the tailbone, I will get shit done. I will dance like a monkey on crack for the money and then I'll dance some more! No joke. What do I got to dooooo to jump through these hoops?!!!

Ok so, no man on my radar. I am the truly OK person without a significant other and without any real interest in anyone. I know, it's kind of freaky. I have no prospectives, no one to stalk on Facebook (or their home, who am I kidding?). No one to shamelessly flirt with, no one to wear sexy undies for, no one, nothing and I am fine with this. Saw my ex boyfriend today and didn't feel like hiding out under a rock. He's the same, he won't ever change. Invited his on and off girlfriend to the bar, we'll see if she goes. In fact, I'll be surprised if she does go. She surely has balls if she goes. I have nothing against her only her asshole boyfriend.

Cute guys por todas partes, but none that spark my interest. Maybe it's time to buy a vibe and give it a name.

I could, I should, I would, I am.

I am.

This is your brain on drugs

• The most rational panamanian ever
• Trying to hide my flabby stomach (poke fun at yourself for pity: 10 points)
• Panamanian hipsters! We´re so cool we wear tight ass pants that cut off the blood flow to our toes causing them to fall off! Much like diabetes!
  
• If I really wanted to be your friend I would have made the effort before.
• What the fuck these italics refuse to fucking go away.
  
• Ok now I fucked it up even more and pressed the bold button and now the bold button refuses to go away. This dashboard is cursed.
  
• Fuck the pallet! Black is for losers anyways.
  
• Spastic Fantastic! My next shirt with the silhouette of a demented little girl dancing spastically. Fucking trademarking that shit NAO.
  
• I could really use a healthy serving of food. Any food would do, except that food you know I don´t like or prefer or even choose over worse shit. Namely most veggies (yes now you look at me like I´m the crazy one..).
• The Italics are gone! Bye!
  

I keep saying I want a tattoo (have the design ready and everything), but I never make any valid move towards getting it. Maybe I don´t want it all that bad.

I'm kind of seeing this guy, I didn´t realize it until today, but yes we have been on a couple of dates. Dates that I didn´t even realize were dates until he mentioned it in passing. Then it dawned on my poor oblivious head that yes, he does in fact have the same feelings that I have for him. This makes me giddy. A bit hesitant as well since I don´t really want anything serious right now. But oh, the joy of the first couple of dates, the flirting, body language, the innocent accidental meeting of fingers on skin, th electric jolts, the swarm of butterflies in your stomach. The aching, beautiful anticipation of seeing the person and memorizing a knuckle, a slender finger, the soft hairs dotting his forearm, his golden skin color.

I downloaded some new music and new music is very much like the first couple of dates. Excitement to hear the new melodies, the new voices and lyrics and songs. Memorize the words and find meaning to their sung odes.

My cousin gets in from the US this afternoon. I hope my high fades away a bit so that I don´t become The Stoner Cousin. The family already has an Oops I Got Knocked Up At 17 cousin, an I Am A Recovering Heroin Addict, the last thing they need is a J the Stoner Cousin or J the deadbeat hostel working pothead cousin.

My mom is a walking talking Mal Trip. Definition of Mal Trip: someone who harshes your fucking flow, takes away the happy feelings, brings you back to reality, makes you aware of something you didn´t really want to be aware of, puts you in an awkward situation, etc. I hope this trip to pick up my cousin doesn´t become 45 straight minutes of Mal Trip with my mom.

You know your mother is a pothead when:

She steals the joint you were saving for a special occasion and then when you mention how your joint has gone missing she pretends she has no idea what is going on. Finally after much prodding, she admits she smoked it, and then she mentions that it was good shit.

Random Thoughts:

• I could really go for some El Ejecutivo french toast right about now.
• Just say not to excessive facial piercings.
  
• People actually still propose marriage? I thought getting knocked up had changed that.
  
• Ugh, really too many piercings.
• Sometimes Facebook is a little too real.
  
• It's kind of odd to find high school facebook friends and see all the changes. Have we really become adults? How weird.
• Just say no to tribal tattoos. What are you in 7th grade or something?

Craigslist

Or how not to get what you're looking for pt. 1.

Whenever you out an ad in craigslist you will never ever get the response you're looking or hoping for. Really.

Thoughts On:

Looking at pictures of girl you don´t really like all that much on Facebook: I can't wait to look at your pictures and pass judgment on them.

I might be a terrible person.