Most annoying place to ever get a pimple: the crease of my buttock. That is all.

Two albums that helped me get over the Australian I boned for a week straight in the Caribbean: Gorilla Manor by Local Natives and Teen Dream by Beach House. Both albums are really solid. Have many songs that are fantastic, but as a streaming, complete concept are even better. I can listen to all of the songs in their order in the album and not skip any of them.

Reasons not to hook up with a booty call:

• Bad breath/bad oral hygiene

Talk about gross. Brush your teeth, man, get some floss in their, you've got like 20 meals in there.

Smoking some hay right now that my mother gave me. I've never seen a more desiccated plant leaf in my life. Summer hit it harrrrrrrrd. Doesn't impede me from smoking it.

It's not easy to write a serious e-mail whilst high.

Procrastination is inevitable when you smoke a fatty.

I watched Funny People the other night and it made me want to become a comedian. I more or less love making people laugh, and I've noticed it more now. Most people snort their noses when I tell them that I want to be a comedian. I don't think I am particularly funny, maybe I am just irreverent and high.

Today I didn't go to work and instead got high and did research on topics ranging from Joni Mitchell to star crossed lovers to Elizabeth Barrett Browning. All of it is connected.

I put new batteries in my vibrator.

Oh.

My.

God.